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The contestants are
now in the house...
Their details follow...
Big Bruvver is watching them at all times...
Dave. A shot putter from Darlington.
He's into public humiliation and jam. He likes his terriers coarse and often
laughs at the moving pictures. When he's hot he's hot but when he's cool he's
hotter. A Libra.
Belinda. An out patient from
Littlehampton. She's into obeying orders from people in uniforms and getting
superglue on her fingers. One of the early favourites to win. Lock up that
cutlery. She's a marxist and works Saturday mornings in her local Oxfam.
Dislikes anything made from molecules.
Gary. A cross dresser from the
Isle of Man. He's just forked out several thousand pounds on the outfit
Clare from Steps wore on their recent Japanese tour. Gary intends to wear the
dress throughout his stay in the big brother house - he knows all the words
and moves from their videos as well. Gary is also a keen sherry drinker and
has been known to get pissed on trifle.
Barnaby. A screamer from North
London. He's into sushi and meths. He's a strong bastard and very scary to share
a room with. Pulls a nasty face when he climaxes.
Daniella. A fireman from Dorset. She
likes her porridge made with half milk / half water and just a smattering of
sugar on top. Call her Danielle by mistake and you might just live to regret it.
She's constantly pre-menstrual and makes no bones about it. You can also find
her rooting through ashtrays at 3 in the morning collecting tobacco for a rolly.
Showaddywaddy. A firearms officer
in Richmond-upon-Thames. Showaddywaddy has had it in for horseraddish sauce
his whole life. He much prefers the texture of a crisp carrot or soft angel
cake. Why must life always be so complicated? Fortunately guns help. The wild
card in the pack - it's time to hang on to your hats - Showaddywaddy could be
first to go or last to stay.
Trisha. Unemployed housewife from
Poole. A Taurus. Say no more. Trisha often makes light of wars in other
countries despite the fact that hundreds of people die or are injured every day.
Trisha's mum is often to be seen in the bookies. Trisha likes watching repeats
of Last of The Summer Wine and hankers after warm bread. She likes Wallace and
Grommit but only because it's Cleggy doing the voices and it reminds her of Last
of The Summer Wine. Once upon a time Trisha only dreamed of being a TV star -
now its time for her to roll up those Nora Batty stockings and get on with the
show.
Beaker. A lampost from Hackney. He's
off in the day but usually comes on around 9ish in Summer and 4ish in Winter. He
has a constant flow of electricity delivered to him from under the ground.
Madge. Half human / half dalek - you
could be forgiven for confusing Madge for Davros. Until she pipes up and says
something. She doesn't sound anything like him! She's into frottage and all
things eclectic. Her younger brother is actually a small marsupial that she
fries and eats most weekends. She glides about on her little dalek wheels and
shouts poetry at people.
Simon. Into wearing denim and lifting
weights. He eats more bananas than is humanly feasible and his farts really
honk. Simon has an extensive collection of subversive Eastern European milk -
mostly from in-bred cattle that should know better. He sings in the shower
and pisses in the sink.
Catch all the action
every night on Channel 44.
Big Bruvver over
and out.
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