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Sub
heading: Things not to say when you first meet that special person.
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You're
ugly, but you intrigue me.
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Did
anyone ever tell you how big your arse is.
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Why
are you staring at me?
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Was
your dad a thief? 'Cos you look like a reprobate.
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Has
your mother's gonorrhoea cleared up now?
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This
is your lucky day. I've just been discharged from the assylum
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You
must have a wonderful personality, because God couldn't be that cruel.
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Excuse
me, have you seen my wife?
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Have
you ever been to heaven? 'Cos I've got an axe at home.
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Tell
me the name of your plastic surgeon, I'll get your money back.
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Somebody
pinch me. I must be dreaming, because you're a nightmare.
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Erm, I'm sorry to disturb you, but there's a lovely girl over there
and you're in the way.
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How
did you escape from the zoo?
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I
couldn't help noticing, but you've got something on your shoulder.
Jesus, it's your head.
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Hello,
my name is Ann Widdecombe.
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