heading: Things not to say when you first meet that special person.
ugly, but you intrigue me.
anyone ever tell you how big your arse is.
are you staring at me?
your dad a thief? 'Cos you look like a reprobate.
your mother's gonorrhoea cleared up now?
is your lucky day. I've just been discharged from the assylum
must have a wonderful personality, because God couldn't be that cruel.
me, have you seen my wife?
you ever been to heaven? 'Cos I've got an axe at home.
me the name of your plastic surgeon, I'll get your money back.
pinch me. I must be dreaming, because you're a nightmare.
Erm, I'm sorry to disturb you, but there's a lovely girl over there
and you're in the way.
did you escape from the zoo?
couldn't help noticing, but you've got something on your shoulder.
Jesus, it's your head.
my name is Ann Widdecombe.